El blues de la TPM

Noies tinc la regla. Mecatxisenlamar. Les hormones boges, cansada, irritable, emocionalment inestable (bé això sense regla també ;)) heus aquí la nostra amiga del mes, malament si la tenim, malament si no la tenim. L'altra dia el meu amic Martin em va informar de l'existència d'una cançó dedicada a la Tensió Premenstrual (TPM o PMS en anglès) de la Dolly Parton, una famosa cantant country nord-americana, arreu coneguda per ser l'autora del megapunxat I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU que va cantar la Whitney Houston a El Guardaespaldas. A banda, també és coneguda per la seva megadavantera, digne de la Pamela Anderson...

En fi, sense més preàmbuls heus aquí la lletra del blues de la TPM...Mal de muchas, consuelo de pocas...

Eve you wicked woman, you done put your curse on me

Why didn't you just leave that apple hangin' in the tree

You make us hate our husbands, our lovers and our boss

Why I can't even count the good friends

I've already lost Cause of PMS blues, PMS blues

I don't even like myself, but it's something

I can't help I got those

God almighty, slap somebody PMS blues

Most times I'm easy going, some say I'm good as gold

But when I'm PMS I tell ya,

I turn mean and cold

Those not afflicted with it are affected just the same

You poor old men didn't have to grin and say

"I feel your pain" PMS blues, PMS blues

You know you must forgive us for we care not what we do

I got those can't stop crying, dishes flying PMS blues

But you know we can't help it

We don't even know the cause

But as soon as this part's over, then comes the menopause

Oh, Lord, Oh, Lord We're going to always be a heap of fun

Like the devil taking over my body, suffering, suffering, suffering

Everybody's suffering, huh?

But a woman had to write this song, a man would be scared to

Lest he be called a chauvenist or just fall victim to

Those PMS blues You know we'd kill for less than that PMS blues

You don't want to cross my path

Cause a pitbull ain't no match

For these teeth a clenchin', fluid retention

Head a swellin', can't stop yellin'

Got no patience, I'm so hateful PMS blues, premenstrual syndrome

Got those moods a swingin', tears a slingin'

Nothin' fits me when it hits me Rantin', ravin', misbehavin'

PMS blues It's the only time in my life

I ever think about wishing

I'd been a man But you know that only means one thing

If I'd have been a man,

I'd be somewhere right this very minute

With some old cranky, naggin', raggin' hateful woman

With those old PMS blues PMS blues

I don't want to talk about it, we both could do without it

Got those treat your kids bad, don't you talk back

Gone ballistic, unrealistic

Awful lowdown, bitch to be around PMS blues

Dolly Parton